“When I was a student at Cambridge I remember an anthropology professor holding up a picture of a bone with 28 incisions carved in it. “This is often considered to be man’s first attempt at a calendar” she explained. She paused as we dutifully wrote this down. ‘My question to you is this – what man needs to mark 28 days? I would suggest to you that this is woman’s first attempt at a calendar.’ It was a moment that changed my life. In that second I stopped to question almost everything I had been taught about the past. How often had I overlooked women’s contributions?”—Sandi Toksvig
“Perhaps it’s done already, perhaps they have said me already, perhaps they have carried me to the threshold of my story, before the door that opens on my story, that would surprise me, if it opens, it will be I, it will be the silence, where I am, I don’t know, I’ll never know, in the silence you don’t know, you must go on, I can’t go on, I’ll go on.”—Samuel Beckett, The Unnamable
“When Kanye was very young, I began teaching him to love himself. It’s something I felt I must consciously do. The low self-esteem he was bound to take on if he looked to the media for validation would only serve to cripple him and make him question himself into oblivion. As a black man and as a man period, he would need to be strong. This would not happen if he learned to hate rather than love himself. And in a society where our legacy is surely the love of our forefathers but also the hate of slave masters, it is imperative that parents consciously teach the love of self, the courage of Malcolm, the wisdom of Martin, the tenacity of Marcus.”—
(In a society where strong women are “pushy” and strong black men are “self-obsessed,” “assholes,” ETC.)
sitting in a coffeeshop listening to the oversharing old man next to me (writer, from new york, wants to “go with [his] best self”) chat with two super lesbians (shaved head, gauged ears, bourbon-bottle jaws) sharing his table, deciding to go to russian house. how is your day?
“My friend Adam Serwer once made the astute observation that most white people “can only relate to racial discrimination in the abstract. What white people can relate to is the fear of being unjustly accused of racism.” The lesson translates to cases of sexual assault and harassment. Those of us who have been forced to personally cope with powerful men behaving badly are certain that the accusers in these situations are worth listening to. “These are not stories we tell for fun, attention or revenge,” tweeted Lena Dunham. There are many women like us working in media, but we’re outnumbered — or definitely outranked — by men who are inclined to relate to the experience of being accused.”—I Believe Dylan Farrow: But Whom You Believe Depends on Which Story You Recognize - NYmag.com (via annfriedman)
Kathy Griffin at the Long Center and the problem with a throwaway joke
This started as a series of tweets, and then quickly grew out of scope, so I took to this, more long-form venue for unsolicited edicts of personal opinion. Hope it doesn’t get lost in a sea of cat gifs (it will).
So, from my work I got tickets to see @kathygriffin at the Long Center last night, and she was lovely and smart and very funny. I wasn’t that terribly familiar with her, but I thought it would be fun, and I was surprised at how fun.
Firstly, I want to say that @kathygriffin is very charming to me, in many ways because of how obviously she seems to care: about queer issues, about her own career (and a congrats for breaking the Guinness world record for comedy specials!), even, in many cases, about the people she makes fun of—she liked to repeat, “I don’t judge, good for you,” and “I will march for your rights!” She’s sex-pos and inclusive, and she’s wonderful for it.
However, there is one thing that I take issue with, and I wish she wasn’t the catalyst for this mini-rant, because there are much worse offenders, but here we are. At one point in the night she made a joke about “LGBTQIA2,” accompanied by a throwaway comment about the “two,” and asking “is there three? I don’t know…let’s just all calm down with the letters.”
Again, to her credit, the line was “I don’t know, but I don’t judge, and I will march for your rights!” Awesome. If only all people ignorant of the issues of marginalized groups had that response. Good for you for having even heard of two-spirit (and if you haven’t: http://www.ndsu.edu/lgbtq/faq/ ). (A side note: it’s especially frustrating exclusion because as a term based in Native American history, it’s one of the few that’s inherently not hegemonically-white).
But here’s my problem. In a world where we’re still having issues even with the first few letters—Lesbian and gay rights are deplorably behind, let’s not even begin on bisexual and transgender…and I would say the majority of people don’t even know about queer, intersex, asexual (and its many shades), etc.—let’s say it. It’s not *really* that good of a joke to make fun of the fact that most people are totally ignorant about a group of oppressed and ignored people.
Frankly, it’s a lazy joke. It’s a throwaway that elicits at best a knowing chuckle and at worst, legitimizes continued ignorance and marginalization.
I’ve always believed that comedy has the power to be an intelligent critique of the absurd, the imbalanced, and the broken in our society. I also believe @kathygriffin, for all her controversy, is an example of that power and I applaud all she’s done. Her immense popularity is a testament to the power of the queer voice and vote in America today, and a capitalist/populist-based indictment on the glacial pace our society is moving towards giving us equal rights, acceptance, knowledge, and representation.
I would just like to see fewer comedians make jokes about the queer alphabet of letters, and realize it represents people fighting for representation, a core tenet of our founding as a country of freedom, if you believe in that sort of thing.
Because seriously, how hard was it to learn the alphabet? My entire generation is deeply familiar with the 150 original Pokemon, or every single phenomenally boring new Kardashian/Jenner family, friend, and foe— but they can’t include a few more beautiful ways of being a human being? We live in a time period where we have the greatest privilege and ability to look something up that we don’t know. Give me a break. This is an issue of priority, and what information we value enough as a society, and as individual human beings, to learn.
At any rate, none of us are always right or always perfect, least of all me, and Kathy, you’re great. Let’s just all dispense with the lazy humor, anyway, and get back to pointing out the absurdity of celebrity culture.
(Post-script/side note: This isn’t the forum, but there are valid critiques to be had about what it means to continue adding letters to issues, the rigidity of labeling in our culture, the necessity [or not] of an umbrella term for the delineations of otherness, etc. etc., fun for the whole family [of queer studies graduate students]. Ridiculing their existence for an easy joke is not one of those valid critiques).